What do you do if you're tired of dating selfish men but don't know how to stop?
More importantly...how can you stop attracting them?
Let me run a scenario by you and see if it sounds familiar...
You go out on a date with a guy.
He seems nice enough.
You decide to give him a chance.
You hook up, things start to get more serious.
Then all of a sudden you just can't stop fighting.
The magical haze of the new relationship evaporates instantly and you're left ghosting or being ghosted by someone you thought you could trust.
And this happens over and over again
Sometimes it takes a few weeks
Sometimes, you're ashamed to admit, it takes days.
Then you brain begins to wonder
What if this is as good as it gets?
What if the rest of my dating life starts to look like this?
What if I NEVER find someone who isn't batshit crazy?
What if I'm the last of my friends to get married or start a family...?
Or even worse, what if I never even get the chance?
Dating doesn't have to go like this.
What most people don't realize is they have a choice in how it goes. But first, that means addressing YOUR PATTERN.
Let me explain.
Most of the time your pattern happens without you knowing it's happening.
The only way you know it exists is because you keep getting the same result.
Let me be clear, I'm not saying you should feel bad or that there's something wrong with you. In fact, this is normal. This is how most of us operate.
As a human, your pattern is the way you self sabotage.
But Rob, why would I do that to myself?
Because more than anything, your brain is wired to prioritize one thing:
It doesn't care how. Only that you do. Anytime the stakes are high, your impressionable brain is recording exactly what you did to SURVIVE the encounter.
Now notice I didn't say succeed with flying colors. Or have a great date. Or impress your boss.
It is only concerned with you living to fight another day.
So if you survived your first date by getting really flustered, nervous, unsocial instead of being your usual amazing self (y'know the YOU that comes out so naturally around great friends...)
Then bad news.
Your brain recorded that. It's going to keep doing it until you find a way to BREAK YOUR PATTERN.
Every time that you don't behave differently, your brain becomes more and more convinced that it's found THE optimal strategy to survive. That behavior gets harder to change.
In fact, the only way to address something like that is through a process called cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance is the ONLY mental state that allows you to change your VALUES. (That is to say, the way your brain decides what action to take. The higher up the value is...the more likely you are to take action consistent with that value)
So if your brain has decided that safety and self-protection are #1 on your value list. Bad news. Your behavior cannot change until you can create some cognitive dissonance.
Most people will continue to get hurt again and again by their Pattern, even when they know it exists.
"God I can't stop dating addicts."
"Why is every guy I date still living at home with his mom?"
"How come I keep end up dating the SAME EXACT guy??"
For most people, they KNOW what they should do, but they haven't been able to change.
**Everyone knows how to be better at dating.**
Take bigger risks. Talk to more intimidating, but sexier, more successful men. Break things off with the toxic ex who you just can't seem to resist.
Most of us fall short when it comes to taking NEW action.
That's where our Unconventional Coaching practice comes through.
Our unique process combines the highly effective methodologies of The Socratic Method, Partswork /IFS, Behavioral Psychology, The CoActive Coaching Method, Game Theory, and over 200 hours of highly effective LIVE coaching in creating just enough Cognitive Dissonance that your brain can rewire itself in an atmosphere of safety. Clients report shifts in their ability to choose new actions, sometimes in as little as one session.
Our structure is uniquely equipped to help you sustain these new changes so they become a part of who you naturally are.
No more shooting yourself in the foot. No more fits of dramatic rage or jealousy. No more struggling to engage in an natural way with the men you find the most attractive.
You will rediscover yourself as an attractive, desireable, and confident person - masterfully equipped to attract others and love themselves.