What I learned about dating from being ghosted by "the one"
Updated: Oct 12, 2020
It happened suddenly. One day we were dating and things seemed to be okay.
The next it was blowing up in my face and she didn't want to talk to me for at least 30 days.
Upset? Yes. Yes I was. Angry. Frustrated. I blamed her for not being able to communicate. I was so cheesed off.
And as fun as those emotions are the indulge in...and that's exactly what that is. An indulgence, at the end of the day, my power is rooted in me.
My ability to own what I am experiencing. My pain is something I create. I am the master of my reality.
So I began to look. Where have I been IRRESPONSIBLE?
Turns out the answer is....EVERYWHERE. Particularly when it comes to happiness.
Happiness most of all.
I think many of us make happiness our holy grail. That was unconsciously the case for me - when I look back at how I dated, I see that I made my partners responsible for my happiness.
I love to date people who plan, who are "considerate", who make me feel good. But there's the thing. "Make me". There are things I like and don't like, sure. But the only one who "makes me" feel anything is me.
So this month I'm taking on being UN-single.
That is, being single and not dating.
What I'm exploring instead is how to be happy being alone.
How to be happy when there's no tandem adventure, no romance, no wild sweaty hot sex, no one I can depend on to lift my mood.
The road is long and winding, but I've discovered A LOT about me and what it takes to be whole and complete and HAPPY when I'm not dating.
I put a few of my thoughts on that journey in a video - you can watch for free by hitting play below.